Laugh Trip 101

In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone:

“Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin.”

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, but as the lazy no-goods they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long.

They simply wrote: “Returned Unopened”

**********

MAM: inday, gamitin mo ‘tong chalk para mamatay yung mga ipis dyn sa pader.

INDAY: yis ati.

kinabukasan, nagulat si mam sa nabasa nya sa pader.

‘EPES, MAMATAY KAYONG LAHAT! SHET PAK YO

**********

Host: ilang taon na kayo lolo??mananawagan ba kayo??

Lolo: opo, 98 na po…

Host: Wow, tanda niyo na pala… sige po manawagan na kayo..

Lolo: kuya, umuwi ka na.. hindi na galit si daddy sa’yo!

**********

G:I need space!
B:(umusod ng unti) o yan space
G:I mean mghiwalay na tau!

B:O cge dyan ka dumaan sa kaliwa dito ako sa kanan
G:Anu ba?!
B:Anung anu ba?!
G:Ayaw sayu ng mama ko!
B:Mas lalo naman ako! D aku pumapatol sa mtanda nuh! Loko ka talaga hon😀
G:BREAK NA NGA KASI TAYU!
B:Oh eto skyflakes ikagat mu ang break mo
G:Leche! wag na nga lng!

**********

( SI VICE GANDA . PUMASOK SA RESTAURANT )

Vice: (Umupo)
Waiter: Good Afternoon po! Kkain po kayo?
Vice: Hindi, magluluto, tutulungan ko chef nyo. Kakahiya naman nakiupo ako dto tapos hindi pa ko tutulong. Bilis na. Gusto mo tulungan pa kita sa mga customers nyo. Tapos aasenso business nyo. Edi masaya, di ba? Umunlad na kayo,nagutom pa ko. Ang galing noh?!


                                                                                                                                                                                                  

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